lala, la laaaaaa!

'I wish i were a little closer to God... '

that thought has lingered through my mind alll day, simply because i havent gone to church today & i feel absolutely horrible about it =( i didnt even go to the chapel or the big cross to suffice for it, i will tomorrow though...

& with 'him'... things got a little better today. i can honestly say or tell anybody: DO NOT get married until you are at leastttt 25 or 26-ish. because this shit aint fun. idk about him but... i find myself not liking him sometimes. sounds horrible, i know but im just being real. i hope it passes and we get to a good place permanently. i love him to death don't get me wrong but, we were so not ready for marriage, dude.

im so glad i finally got this blog up and running!!! i really needed this, i had one a whileeeee back but just ditched it, i guess when things got really good but now.... things are good but i need a blog, an online diary. and i got one :) first Christmas present for me!!! well, not the way ive been shopping but whatever.

sooo, i gotta wake up in 5 hours to go to a 'lady appointment' with my very annoying/immature 'friend', erna. you'll be hearing a lot about her. i would definitely describe our 'friendship' as stressful. like a shirt that iam outgrowing reallyyyy badly. its too bad that i work with her because i feel like that's what's keeping us in contact =/ idk why my boss won't just fire her already, she even gets on HIS nerves, he told me! lol i mean, i could easily have a talk/talks with him and have it over with but (even though she has ONLY a cell phone bill to pay & lives with her parents) i DO NOT want to be responsible for someone losing their job, thats just really mean. i wont do it. but on the other hand im praying all goes well for us tomorrow!!

some of his family members from mexico are coming from tomorrow until about new years day...yay. more of a reason for me to pretend like im happy.. double yay. you know we were expecting them at like 5pm and now they're gonna get here in about 2 hours? know why that sucks? because i self medicated for the 'arrival'. what a waste =( well... not completely!

did i mention im jazzed to have my 'online diary' back?? :))))))

nitey-nite!