can i just say my love for this band i getting bigger & bigger with each week that goes by :] ive been hooked to them since their 2008 ish album only by the night... yeah in loveeeee <3 i wanna go see them when they come here @ the end of next month!!
in other news...i finally talked to jennifer. messaged her on fb, gave her my #, said to call asap bc we need to talk. she messages back saying 'oh, i called & text but no answer.' my ass. i called bs. so i was like 'hmm...strange. bc i got no missed calls or texts & my phone works pretty well. soo since there seems to be problems on your end, whats ur number bc i'll call you.' well, progress was made, we talked & she's just a dumb bitch. she's all like oh ur right bc that's ur husband & i put it the other way around & i thought about it & i wouldnt like that either.. the dog ate your homework & you live in disneyland. -_- bitch, that's why ur ass isnt even 21 yet, hasnt even finished high school anddd on ur 2nd kid? yous a dumb hoe. thats all. im just glad i got that out of the way bc believe it or not, it was lingering & causing underlying stress. ANDDD i took care of my 11-12 fafsa application finallyyyy!! :D now i just gotta make it to school this week & see whats up in the lovelyyyy fin. aid office...yay. ha. whoo!
ive also come to the conclusion thaaaat... i needa get it t o g e t h e r! with my body, my job, my life period. its like i start... then i stop then i do what i do best: procrastinate. the one thing about me that i cannot just... accept. hate that. keeps me from getting a lot done. whateves. gotta keep pushin, right? & this job thing... (while im in school trying to get my degree) if im gonna work @ a bar/restaurant, etc. i want it to pay me enough $$ & if he cant help me w/ that, well thats gonna answer a lot of questions for me. i would have to leave. then through some deeper thinking.. do i even wanna be a social worker? i really really & truly do love the line of work & helping families but is that what my true passion is? i sure hope so bc if not, that just makes my merry go round of a life even more confusing... like, what do i wanna do & what makes me happy? like what really really makes me happy?? idk? God, i hope all this recent confusion & frustration about my life & where its going & what im going to do is just part of growing pains (if that even what its called) as soon as i figure it out in a more readable form, i'll blog about it & i just cant wait for that day so i can just stop all this... thinking & analyzation of my life & everyyything in it. ugh. you think it sounds like a mess, try actaully having to deal with it. *sighs* life is so hard sometimes...
but iammmmm looking forward to tomorrow. bc that old windbag behind the bar has been trying me & tomorrow is the day to let her know whats up. see here's the thing: im horribly bad @ confrontation, so thats why this is kinda big for me... well anyways, i also figured & actually comprehended that if i dont take up for myself, NO ONE else willll. & so i gotta go in there & if she gets attitudy, i gotta stand up for brittany. i have to. if not now, then when? i know this girl with the most self-righteous attitude (like she has no rules & can say anything she wants to you & doesnt care how it affects you. nose completely in the air) well i have to put on that 'nicole m.' thing tomorrow & anyyy time someone tries to prey on me like im a weak person. mmhmm. im gonna get through these minor stresses in my life bc just like my old co worker nancy said i assure you, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
until next time <3
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